using tumblr mobile and seeing people talk about a desktop layout change is like hearing a timer suddenly start ticking down. I am safe for now but I hear the danger
building off of this post, people love to say that “trans men want to keep going into in women’s spaces after they transition because they just want to have the best of both worlds!” but in my experience, there are four main reasons that a trans man might use a “women’s space” after they transition:
it’s an important resource that’s being arbitrarily gendered and we need to use it regardless of which gender is “supposed to” be using it.
it’s a public facility where we’d be significantly less safe in the men’s version and we have to choose our safety over our desire to not be misgendered.
it’s a social space that we’ve been in since before we transitioned and we don’t want to suddenly be cut off from our friends and support system.
the trans man in question is multigender and is also a woman, or maintains some other kind of connection to womanhood alongside their manhood.
do any of those sound like “evil men rubbing our dirty little hands together making plans for how we’re going to get male privilege without losing access to women’s spaces” to you? they sure don’t to me!
i think it’s pretty reasonable that we want to transition without losing the ability to access the resources we need, keep ourselves safe, keep up the relationships we’ve built, and express all facets of who we are. all of those are really, like, pretty basic parts of having good life and we shouldn’t be expected to give them up when we transition.
and honestly, if you claim to care about trans people, you should not be so attached to the gendering of these spaces that you’re willing to deny trans men those things for the sake of upholding gender restrictions. anyone who prioritizes the sanctity of gender segregated spaces over the safety, health, and well-being of trans men is a fucking transphobe. (yes, even if you’re trans yourself.)
and that’s what really gets me about all of this — the vehemence with which people are willing to defend those spaces being entirely and inflexibly gendered, despite how enforcement of gendered spaces has hurt trans people time and time again. gendered spaces have literally always been set up in ways that force trans people to break the rules; some trans men might break those rules in ways that don’t make sense to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong for us to do so! it just means you might feel weird about it and that’s okay, discomfort won’t kill you.
“but using women’s spaces after transitioning to male defeats the purpose of transitioning! the whole point of transitioning is to be able to live as a man!”
and who are you to tell trans men what the point of our transitions should be? what if the purpose of us transitioning is just to live the happiest and most fulfilled life possible, and forcing ourselves into unsafe spaces or denying ourselves access to important resources or cutting ourselves off from important people in our lives or pushing down the more complex parts of our genders would “defeat the purpose of transitioning” for us? what if being able to go where cis men go is just one part of a much bigger journey, not the end goal?
if you really want to talk about “defeating the purpose,” let’s talk about how policing which gendered spaces trans men can access defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from policing which gendered spaces trans people can access, because it allows the policing of trans people in gendered spaces to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether. let’s talk about how using “evil men invading women’s spaces” rhetoric against trans men defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from using it against trans women, because it allows the rhetoric to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether.
the point of saying “let people decide which gendered space is right for them” isn’t to make sure everyone uses the one aligned with their “true gender,” it’s to let people do what’s best for them without punishing them for their choice. sometimes the best choice is one that seems wrong from the outside, and you need to learn to live with that.
i just think we as a community need to be more hostile toward people who think upholding the sanctity of a gendered space is more important than giving trans people the freedom to move through the world without being punished for existing in those gendered spaces. that kind of thinking is fucking dangerous and it’s weird as hell that some of y’all are so comfortable with it being directed at us.
moral of the story: stop giving so much of a shit about where a trans man decides to piss or see a doctor or hang out or whatever else. even if you think he doesn’t belong there, he probably has a good reason to be there anyway, and that reason is frankly none of your damn business.
its so cool watching the modern internet actively strangle itself in the name of squeezing out another percent of profits i love obtaining an intimate understanding of the looming dread a roman citizen during the rapid decline of the empire must’ve felt. it sucks and isn’t good by the way
Oh and that fucking crab day post sends shivers down my spine btw. I say this as someone who owns multiple pieces of tumblr merch — support them if you want, or don’t, I don’t care, but we are NOT turning a tech corporation into our poor little wet meow meow who deserves all our money uwu. We are NOT pressuring normal ass people into donating to resolve a company’s millions in debt as if it’s some important charitable cause.
hi I’m a very long time cosplayer (20+ years experience) who has chronic headache and migraine problems and this is a post about how to prevent your cosplay wigs from giving you painful headaches! Nobody likes wandering around the con in blinding pain and so hopefully this post will help you reduce the chances of this happening.
fantastic and important suggestions!! i want to add that in terms of reducing weight to really watch out what you’re adding to the wig. does your wig really require a whole nother wig’s worth of wefts to get the right volume or can you just tease the crap out of that underlayer of hair? buying premade plastic horns or 3d printing horns to add to your wig might seem like the easiest solutions, but how heavy is that plastic compared to craft foam? i used premade horns/antlers for jester and keyleth, and even tho those horns were hollow, my craft foam with wire fearne horns are way lighter and easier to deal with!
why do people in dnd each occupy a 5ft by 5ft square, how far apart do you think people need to be? why are dnd minis afraid of touching
dnd minis standing five feet apart in a dungeon cuz they’re not gay
look, if the guy to my left has to do the turbo-macarena while charging a bolt of flesh melting while the guy on my right is doing every bruce lee move at the same time and the guy in front of me is flourishing a broadaxe like hes doing yo-yo tricks im going to give each of them enough floorspace to not liquefy myself
fuck a “personal bubble”, stay out of my
BLOOD CIRCLE
So glad that non-scouts can appreciate the term blood circle properly.
Please, for the love of Prime, put the slightest bit of thought into the email address you use when applying to college. You need to switch gears between education you have to go through to education that will lead to a career. Consider that your professors, your advisors, your financial aid assistants, anybody at the college may at one point need to reach out to your personal email. Don’t assume everyone will rely on your student email, we all know you don’t read that shit.
If you don’t have a generic contact email that you wouldn’t be afraid of your grandma seeing, make one. As you do so, please consider:
Don’t have anything sexual in your email address. I mean it. All those 69s and clever wordplays aren’t so funny when you have to read them over the phone to me to confirm your ID. Also I know what goatse is, you twits, I’ve been on the internet longer than you.
Don’t use your gamertag as an email address. Or your reddit name, or your AO3 ID, etc. It’s basic CYA to keep your online life and your real one separate. As silly as that seems, you really don’t need someone in your engineering class finding those Homestuck fics you wrote when you were fifteen because your professor forgot to use BCC to hide your email. Protect yourself.
Don’t use your birth year in your email. This is less of a professional problem then it is a basic security issue. You’re giving away personal information that could be used to compromise your online accounts every time you email someone. Play it smart and use a random number.
If it will embarrass you to read it out load to someone, rethink using it for school. If your name is “Matt Smith” and your email is some sort of play on the 11th Doctor, you’re probably fine. If your email is 11thDocsLoveSlave, please… Spare us both. I promise you it’s not worth having to look me in the eye as you tell it to me.
Don’t use your high school email. You no longer have access to that when you graduate from high school. We cannot contact you with an email you can’t access. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot on the way out the door.
Listen, as someone with a really awkward personal email that I’ve been meaning to change for years, I have been there. Save yourself and get an email you wouldn’t mind your professor, your boss, or your mom knowing about.
Hot off the presses, but uh if you do have an email you use for school/work/semi-professional reasons, make sure it has an appropriate name attached to it or that you identify yourself within the email for clarify.
This update brought to you by the extremely awkward phone conversation I just had with “Evil Morty.”